I'm thankful for....

Stuff I'm thankful for:

1. Being equipped by nature to survive long into the apocalypse without food.

2. Continence (more or less).

3. Not bleeding out of my sexual organ once a month.

4. If I do my job poorly, nobody dies or gets hurt.

5. Food is still enjoyable, after all these years.

6. Internet porn

7. Maturbation, also still enjoyable after all these years.

8. When I get depressed, I get to play the blues.

9. Living in a country where my sloth and incompetence is unlikely to result directly
in my death.

10. Knowing some people who occasionally say nice things to me.

11. Laughter..also still enjoyable after all these years.

E Disharmony

I just spent, like, at least half an hour filling out this fucking e harmony (it's a dating website) personality profile bullshit. I finally finished it, and this is what it said:

" eHarmony is based upon a complex matching system developed through extensive research with married couples. One of the requirements for successful matching is that participants fall within certain defined profiles. If we find that we will not be able to match a user using these profiles, we feel it is only fair to inform them early in the process.

We are so convinced of the importance of creating compatible matches to help people establish happy, lasting relationships that we sometimes choose not to provide service rather than risk an uncertain match.

Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching model could not accurately predict with whom you would be best matched. This occurs for about 20% of potential users, so 1 in 5 people simply will not benefit from our service. We hope that you understand, and we regret our inability to provide service for you at this time. "

What the fuck?! I want my half an hour back! Harmony my fucking ass!

recap

Well, I will now present the most boring blog technique available: the recap of my weekend.

I went to Indy on Friday to hang with my friend. We went to the Cheesecake Factory, which was awesome. Then I went home.

On Saturday, I did laundry and drove to Cincinnati to visit another friend. We played some music, ate some pretty good food at Rock Bottom Brewery, watched a bad horror movie, and went out to some bars. Then I slept. On Sunday, we got some breakfast (where I totally broke the mold and ordered tomato juice!), and then I drove back to finish laundry at mom's house. Then I went to my friend's house and shot some guns in the dark. That was cool. I'm pretty sure I just hit some trees. I couldn't see the clay pigeon, but I don't think I hit it.

That's it! Bye Bye

Ch-ch-changes.

I have some problems. So do most men.

You have to take some risks to make your life better, if you see a chance. A small chance even. It's weird, changing your life. You can't be an observer when you take some action. You get thrust to the forefront of your own life. I guess it's like, most of the time, you're on cruise control, making some minor adjustments to maintain stasis, but sometimes, you have to make a quick turn to get to that Dairy Queen, and then you grab the wheel and shut off the cruise.

I guess I've grabbed the wheel at some important junctures. I'm not sure I've charted a great course, but it's been MY course. It's scary as shit when you do that, though. Especially when women are involved. Christ.

Sometimes people are alright, y'know?

The United States of America just elected a black man president.

Holy fucking shit.

This is a sweet day to be an American, and it's a real sweet day to be a Democrat, and it's even a pretty sweet day to be me.

stuff

For Halloween, I went as "sexy shepherd," which was part of the "sexy nativity scene." There was sexy baby jesus, sexy joseph, sexy mary, sexy north star, sexy angel, sexy shepherd, sexy sheep, and 3 sexy wise-women. I wore a plaid skirt and a weird robe thing and I carried my shepherd's staff. I also occasionally "walked" my sheep with the chain that was padlocked around her neck.

It was pretty funny. I drank a significant portion of Maker's Mark.

The elections are tuesday. Go elections!