Monsterquest!

My buddy has been gracious enough to let me live with him for free this summer. He has cable, which means I have access to my two favorite shows: Monsterquest and Knife Show.

Monsterquest, a program, oddly enough, of the history channel, features teams of crack scientists, intrepid adventurers, and crytpozoological enthusiasts bravely fighting the so-called consensus of the "scientific community" that monsters do not exist. Monsters is a facetious term here. We are of course referring to cryptids...not magical or supernatural creatures, but rather heretofore undocumented animals whose existence has been reported by eye witnesses, both ancient and modern. Sadly, the impressive expertise assembled on these teams has yet...YET...to capture so-called "proof" that these creatures exist. Nevertheless, clearly, undocumented bi-pedal primates have a long history of stinking and walking across roads in North America, and there to deny their reality is as foolish as denying the existence of Jesus. Hello! Eye witnesses?!?! Who would you believe...some machine that "tests" "DNA," or a person, just like you or me, who is dedicated to spending their unemployment checks on camo and internet-purchased Sasquatch musk? I just hope they don't give up. Maybe one more night with the night-vision camera will finally provide the cynical world with the proof it's sad, wonderless minds require.

(the current offer on Knife show is a sword-cane with a fake gun for a handle...cost: $22.50. I'm not sure I understand this product conceptually).