Time to Get Your Crayons and Your Pencils

Starting to freak out about teaching. I start on Tuesday. Oh boy. Here we go. Young minds. In my hands. Young, fragile minds. oh boy. No pressure. All up to me. No pressure. Just me. Just me and them. Ok. here we go. Breathe. Breathe. Ok.

First step: Finish Syllabus.

Second step: Panic!

Third step: Remember your training. Stay low. Keep moving.

Fourth step: Lie to them about your qualifications.

Fifth step: Grade inflation.

Sixth Step: Highlight the beard. Make extraneous mention of grownup phrases like "401k" and "mortgage" and "wife" and "babysitter" and "the gout."

Seventh Step: Blow their goddamn minds.