Not much of a title today, but please read on!

Ugh...i ate too many frozen breakfast tacos.

It's Memorial Day weekend! Hooray!

I can remember some things. That means I get to participate.

I remember 16 things. Highlights include the face of my mother, the tint of my discolored big toe toenail, and the amplitude of the waves on my fat rolls when my belly gets smacked.

I heard that we're in a war. I know, right? Seems preposterous to me too. I mean, I haven't been shot at. I remember them talking about it on the news or something, like, last year, but I figured that was just some kind of hoax.

A note to my female admirers: you no longer need to pay so much respect to my privacy and personal space. I am now giving you permission to approach me. Please cast your eyes downward and bring a gift.



I haven't seen a bigfoot yet out here, but I know this is the best shot I'll have for a while. Thunderbirds, too.

A note to television: you are a piece of shit. I swear to god, it seems like every hour of programming has 40 minutes of commercials. I was right to spurn you last summer, and I will spurn you again. You seduce me into giving away time that should be used for songwriting and reading. You provide me very little entertainment and a surplus of shitty shows and maddening commercials. I can't wait to leave you again.

Though, ok, i'll give you this: It was funny on South Park the other night when that couple had butts for heads. And I like that 5-dollar foot-long commerical for subway.