Bu-Bu's

It's hard to live in pretty places. If it wasn't, there'd be lots of people there, and it wouldn't be pretty anymore. My poor car has taken a pretty good beating. After the car wreck, something put a big gash in the side (probably the county road-clearing vehicles), leading my friend to suggest that I change the name from "The Bu" to "The Bu-Bu." Thankfully, as far as I can tell, all of the damage has been aesthetic only, and I've never given much of a shit about how the car looks. Tomorrow I'm putting chains on the tires so I can get around with a tad bit more self-sufficiency. At the moment, I'm totally dependent on others to drive me around.

The folks here have been generous to me and understanding of my confusion and uselessness. Everyone here comes off as ten-times tougher and more capable than me. Being self-sufficient and capable of surviving these crazy conditions is just part of the culture here. Everyone seems totally engaged in public issues, too. It seems like every other person has done at least one incredible thing in their lives...started a nonprofit, made a movie, saved an ecosystem, recycled their bottles and cans...you know.

I feel pretty lost and out of place, though that's not to say that I haven't also been enjoying myself. I went on a little snow-shoe hike, which to the tough and hearty folk out here would be physically equivalent to tying their shoes, but to me it was exhausting. Nevertheless, aside from the chafing thighs and feeling of imminent collapse, I took in some beautiful vistas. My buddy...hell, his name is Daniel, so I'll just call him that...Daniel took me into Taos for a little get-together at a brew-pub to celebrate his buddy's becoming an EMT. Again, everyone was nice, but as I've mentioned on this blog before, I really feel terribly awkward in gatherings of people where I don't know many folks. And, here, obviously, I know very few. I guess I need to get used to it, at least for the next 5-6 months.

On the way home, I had to walk part of the way up to the house where I'm staying. The thin air and sparse population make the night skies pretty spectacular. Intellectually, I know those points of light are all mindless, soul-less, lifeless balls of fiery gas, plopped in the lifeless vacuum of space, doomed to violent supernova deaths. But tonight, they seemed more like the face of a beautiful woman, smiling at me.