Character Profile: Vernal Pike

I have a few bits that I do from time to time. They're personas I adopt for certain comedic utility. Most of them are either blatant rip-offs of other popular characters or cliched motifs. But, I gotta say...sometimes they're pretty funny.

One of these characters is Vernal Pike. He's a very excitable hillbilly with a sweet disposition and a profound stupidity. His information follows.
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Name: Vernal Pike

Age: Older than a baby

Born: Before

Location: Probably in the closet. He's not sure.

Where: Bloomington, IN

Parents: Mama

Height: 6'2

Weight: 120 pounds

Mama's Weight: 500 pounds (she's reeeeeal fat! Oooh Yeeeeeeeah!)

Education: Self-Taught

Areas of focus: colors, directions, lines, shapes. Fish. Running Away. Mama. Rust. That People do things.

Occupation: Looking for money in the woods.

Hobbies: Talking to Mama, Carrying around cups full of dirt, Going to Look at the Rusted-out Washing Machine in the Gulley,
Pizza Rolls, Listening to the sounds from the T.V., "surfing the web" (He actually just opens up random programs on
the computer and immediately closes them...he thinks that's what the internet is), Fishin', Talkin to folks.

Theories: Michael Jordan looks like the night. The tv shows a really big house with lots of rooms and people. Mama loves
him. Money's real easy to find.

Medical Condition: Buck Teeth. Extreme Excitability.