Half full...or at least, 50-50.

Optimism. I'm warming to it. I've really done pessimism with a lot of gusto. I really just gave into it when I quit religion.

Here's how that turned out: pessimism=worry= exhaustion + cowardice =depression and disengagement =not fun or happy.

I'm hoping the other equation goes something like this: Optimism= excitement = energy and bravery = freedom = fun & happy.

I'm also realizing that pessimism and depression aren't romantic or noble. They're just dysfunctional. (I'm working on a song. it goes, "I guess I missed the boat on that. Depression's no aphrodisiac, and my crying don't get em hot after all).

As a general rule, I think depression isn't exactly a selling point for a potential mate.

This change is going to require me to discipline my thought patterns to counteract negative thoughts with positive ones. This is especially true when the negative thoughts are unreasonably pessimistic. If an outcome might be bad, but might just as well be good, I should AT LEAST suspend expectations, and maybe even train myself to expect the good. Where is the nobility in expecting the worst, or in spending time worrying about it?

Maybe it's a survival mechanism gone awry. Planning for possible problems makes sense. But, when it leaves you paralyzed with anxiety and fear and depression, that mechanism of worry is acting contrary to its purpose.

Let's toast to optimism, and drink from our half-full glasses.