a good night's sleep

I don't think I've slept through the night since I was in college. I always get up to pee at least once, usually a couple of hours before I get up for good. But last night I slept through the night, and this morning I feel really good. No jitters or shakes, no blues, no cravings (except for sex, which is always with me)...just energy flowing freely, like I had a dilithium crystal core shooting me into warp drive. (Thanks to my friend for bringing up dilithium crystals last night during Scattegories).

I went to one of the apartment complexes that I'll be managing, way up in the middle of nowhere in the next county over. We're talking some serious backwoods rurality here (if rurality isn't a word, and I doubt that it is, it should be). I found out that one of the tenants is an old country and bluegrass pro. He played with Bill Monroe, Mac Wiseman, and he cut a few records himself. You never know where you're gonna find some interesting stories, you know?

I want to go back to the Christianity topic for a moment to explain why I quit using that label to identify myself. This wasn't just an academic exercise for me; claiming the Christian moniker would have meant that I could have pursued leadership in a Christian church. Even if I didn't fit their definition, I would have fit my own, and so I could have done that job with integrity. When I decided to stop claiming that moniker, it drastically narrowed my choices for organizations in which I could pursue leadership. It's all moot now, since I've left the religion business, but the point is that definitions can mean something.

I had to come up with some kind of operational definition of "Christian." Here's what I came up with eventually: A Christian is a person for whom Jesus of Nazareth is at the center of their lives, either in his birth, life, death, resurrection, teachings, or as a fictional character. This definition is fairly inclusive. It does not require that anyone believe anything specific about Jesus other than that he somehow represents a central component of understanding one's existence. It does not require that Jesus be the ONLY important piece of one's life, and it does not specify what aspect of Jesus one ascribes centrality to. Jesus can be seen as simply a character, whose story is incredibly meaningful. Or he can be seen as a teacher/philosopher, whose theories and lessons offer truth and guidance. Or he can be seen as a living God, whose actual historical experience somehow changed metaphysical reality (the curtain is torn). Or, some combination of these.

I decided that I really don't fit that definition of Christian. The gospels are incredibly beautiful and profound, and the teachings of Jesus have profoundly influenced my culture and my life personally. Nevertheless, Jesus is not at the center of my life. The stories about Jesus are a part of my life, but they are not the center. As Paul Tillich said, Faith is a centered act of the self. Whatever lies at your center is your object of faith. That, for me, is not Jesus, so I can't call myself a Christian.

More expansive definitions do exist. My dad, for instance, told me once that when he called himself a Christian, he meant "peace on earth, good will toward men." I could probably get on board for that.