Night Mares

You ever have one of those nights where you wake up in bed and suddenly realize that you and everyone you know is gonna die someday, and that you and they and everything is incomprehensibly mysterious and weird, and that your life is literally an infinitesimally small blip on the heart monitor of existence, and that every second you spend doing stupid shit is time wasted, and that whatever you do, you can't do everything, so whatever you do do is terribly consequential, and that when you do things, you're imposing your will on a disorderly and chaotic world, and are therefore sort of being a god, and aren't relationships so weird, when you can enjoy other people so much, when in fact, you both realize on some level that you're both going to die?

You ever have, you know, a night like that?

Me neither...I was just askin.

Post Script:

Had another weird dream. Some big black cop was riding a big black horse, and he was talking to me and a group of people about something. We were out in the canyon lands in some dessert (New Mexico-ish). This kid and I walked up this ridge, but he was carrying the big black horse. We got to the top, and we both started riding the horse...he was controlling it, I wasn't. The horse then jumped off this ledge, and I couldn't see the ground, so I was scared. And, it turns out, rightfully so, because we kept falling and falling....I looked down, and were falling to a river. But it was ok...i just put my feet together and went in, no problem. Then I found a rock to climb up on.

That's all I remember.