financial anxiety

I can't sleep. The fact that I have been living on borrowed money for the last year and a half is starting to sink in. That, and the fact that my expenses will actually be increasing when I move this summer, which is definitely the wrong direction for my expenses to be heading.

This anxiety is silly. If I can't pay my rent at some point in the future, the worst that could happen is that I would get evicted, right? Which, obviously, is bad, but I know enough people who harbor some misplaced affection for me that I could surely find some temporary shelter.

Most people who entered grad school with me are now searching for full-time jobs. I, on the other hand, am two classes behind and will not be finishing school until next December. Which means that I need to find gainful employment this summer, unless I want to ad to my already hefty student loan debt (about 40k so far), which I do not. I really want to get some kind of paid internship, but failing that, I just need to get some kind of pay.

The annoying part is that my lease is up in July. So, not only do I have to worry about possibly paying double rent, since I may end up working out of town, but I will also have to worry about getting back here to move.

Once I make it through the summer, I should be home free. I can get another loan installment next fall while I finish my two remaining classes and look for a grown-up job. Finally, after 20 years of school, I will have my reward....a 25-40 k/year job in the public sector. Oh, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing! Oh, lower middle class, welcome home your prodigal son! Oh, credit card debt, trim your wick, for my arrival is imminent!